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Weds 6th May Dam that B.I.V.A! Ah yes the image of an industrious furry creature with big teeth working away to dam the flow of a river. I'm sure we've all seen that on documentaries or perhaps we've been luck enough to see it in real life. The plucky beaver has only a small role to play in "B.I.V.A" though, but he's a useful chap to segway into my example. Good lad... So when we talk to people or when we read something or think about something then we need to think about B.I.V.A. We do? Yes we do.....because it shapes our responses and thoughts. A bit like the plucky beaver shaping the river. B.I.V.A even effects how we listen and hear people. This is particularly important for those of us who practice "active listening" (or want to) which is one of the foundations needed for an effective conversation. We learn B.I.V.A through our formative years but it's also an "in the moment" thing that we really need to be aware of. Why? Well pull up a log, take a seat and I'll tell you. B.I.V.A. stands for beliefs, interest (and interests), values and attitude. They shape (both consciously and subconsciously) how we think and often act. Essentially they're our filter that we look through to see the world. So think about our cheery beaver peering through some sunglasses. Surely "Oakleys"? There's tons of research and literature out there that discusses what sets these filters but it boils down to where, who and what you experience up until this point in time. Much of this is set in our early years. I've mentioned in previous blogs about "confirmation bias" (and others) but these cognitive biases and shortcuts stem from B.I.V.A. " Beliefs, values and attitude " are probably self-explanatory, although because they're automatic responses (often) it's something we need to consider when we encounter anyone or thing that seems "different" to us or our view. I would say attitude can be heavily affected by your current emotional and/or physical state and environment. (Groupthink, conformation bias etc). " Interests " are also probably easy to think about (you'll be more likely to find it easier to talk to someone and possibly relate to them if you have similar interests) but "i nterest " is worth a mention. Conversations are invariably transactional, so it's sometimes worth thinking what's my "interest" in this exchange? There may be none of course but you'll need to manufacture a little interest if you want to develop any rapport. But if you want to develop a rapport you probably have an interest in the chat..... Now think about when you think about something. Yes, I meant to write that......B.I.V.A needs to be challenged if you tend towards negative thoughts or worry (which we all do). Challenge those pesky B.I.V.A thoughts, look at them from a different perspective. After all, our friendly beaver does fell lots of trees causing destruction, but he does it to build something to help him and his family which is pretty amazing. Fri 24th Apr Look left, look right, but not at the same time . Following on from the "Lights and Wrongs" blog entry (below) I'd like to share a picture with you if I may? Not an actual picture as such (although you can see it on the Whitecat Twitter and Linked in pages) but an image. I was out walking and I walked past a tree. I'll admit it doesn't sound overly exciting does it? Bear with me though...... So it was a large pine tree, and I must've walked past it 100's of times over the years. The sun was out and the birds were singing and I noticed the pine was in flower. I couldn't understand what I was seeing at first because it essentially looked like a green and bulbous pine cone. The tree was festooned with them and there were large pine cones on the ground underneath the tree. I didn't recognise what I was seeing but it soon dawned on me that I was looking at a growing pine cone. I don't ever remember seeing one before despite walking past the tree 100's of times... It made me realise a few things. Firstly you can only look one way at a time. I really mean "internally and externally" here but the physical parallel is there. We like to focus inwards mentally on ourselves a lot (the spotlight analogy below) especially when we're anxious or uncertainty threatens to engulf us. It's a natural survival response and is hardwired into our brains as we learn to be concerned as we travel through life. Actually we only have 2 natural fears the rest are learnt. More of that in a future blog.... Mindfulness and meditation aim to refocus our thoughts - it allows us to focus "outwards" on other things other than our fears and worries. Now I do realise mindfulness uses our senses to refocus and calm us - which you might say is an "internal" focus - but it focusses on the physical senses and not the "internal thoughts" that I'm really talking about. So if you focus on the external sensations (visual, audible, touch, smell and taste) then that's the way you're looking. You can only look in one direction at a time which is why mindfulness is such a useful technique and it's why I'm an enthusiastic student of it. Secondly it made me realise how easy it is to look and not "see". We often walk about on autopilot because our lives are so busy (being busy seems to be a modern indicator of "success") and we forget about the beauty and amazing World that surrounds us. Finally I was amazed at the perfect symmetry of the growing cone and that I'd never noticed it before. It reminds me of the joy that can be found in nature and the delight and pleasure you can get from learning something new. I didn't know that the pine has both male and female flowers for example that grow into cones..... In times of uncertainty and anxiety focussing outwards (using our spotlights) is a good way of finding calm and hope I think. One of the keys is to recognise when we're focussing inwards and move that focus outwards. After all, it's our superpower - choosing what we think about. Making yourself notice what's around you using all of your senses - that's it REALLY notice - is mindulness in action. Tues 14th Apr Lights and Wrongs Let's switch on some lights then. I'd hate it to get dark in here.... Perhaps the way our mind works (at least very simply) can be represented by lights. Yes I know, but bear with me reader... Three lights in fact. Or at least, three types of lights . The colour from the beams of these lights is immaterial (although it's an intersting avenue to explore) but I suspect you'll think about a white light from each. The three types of lights then are a floodlight, searchlight and spotlight. Personally I imagine a floodlight on the top of a tower shining down on a sports pitch. It's a light that shines over a large area and as such isn't focussed on individual players (for example) but the whole stadium in which they're playing. Then we have the spotlight, which in my case I'm thinking of the powerful and focussed "anglepoise" light I have shining on my desk. Finally. and not to be left out, we have the searchlight. Maybe you're thinking of these lights as the ones that are sweeping around to deter prisoners escaping from gaol, or searching the dark skies for enemy aircraft? Either way, they're movable and essentially sweep or "search". (I guess the clue is in the title!). So how do these represent your mind? Well they have one thing in common before we consider this. They all help us to "see" and to help us understand our situation. Or at least they allow us to "see" whatever they are shining on. How we perceive what we see is another matter.. Let's start with the searchlight then. So in my career as a military aviator I had a lot of stuff to look at when flying around. More dials/gauges than you could shake a stick at. So I'd scan what I was being presented with and hopefully prioritise the inputs I was receiving (and hopefully act accordingly). Given the human brain can only manage 7 (+/- 2) bits of information at anytime then this seems to be a sensible arrangement. You do essentially the same thing when you're driving or walking. Your mind prioritises inputs and discards those that it doesn't think are relevant. If something suddenly becomes relevant - a warning light for example then your searchlight will switch to a spotlight. In other words you'll focus on that event/warning because it's become a priority. Thing is with spotlights is that although they illuminate a small specific area brightly, outside of that "beam" everything else appears dark...... Hopefully you're still with me? The interesting thing though is that these lights are on quite a bit, not just when we're driving/flying/cooking etc. Often this is the case at 3am when our searchlight has been sweeping our minds and has found some worries and concerns and we've switched our spotlight on to these worries so we can get a really good look at them. There are positive things we could spotlight too, but research suggests we'll shine a light on 5 negative things to every one positive thing...... "So what about the floodlight then?" I hear you ask. Well that's the environment or context we find ourselves in. (Think driving/flying/cooking). It's big picture stuff. If you are partaking in an activity then this is your environment (your floodlight). However when you aren't occupied or actively engaged it's very possible that your floodlight is supplied by media and social media. Which sets the tone... This is particularly true if you have a novel threat or something you feel you have no control over or understanding of. Like Covid-19. You use the media floodlight (which is often opinion and "what if" and very often conflicting) and it's associated "facts". Then on comes your searchlight to look for relevant threats or concerns to you specifically and then you switch on your spotlight to focus on your worries. So is there a useful application for this analogy? Well I think there is. Firstly let's think of our spotlight. As I said this is often noticeable at night as we try to sleep. We need to recognise that we're "spotlighting". Then it needs to be moved to illuminate positive aspects or events in our lives. We need to call on our friendly searchlight to help us in this, but you need to actively search for positives as that searchlight has a habit of favouring negatives. Which it's designed to do of course as a survival technique. You can guide it though to areas to search in, and to do this you set the environment by using a floodlight. Think of big picture stuff which is a positive phase or general event that you feel good about in your life. Then get the searchlight working to seek out specifics and then get the spotlight to do it's work..... You can also use your floodlight by managing your environment when you aren't in your bed. Walking, nature, exercise, pets and (especially) connecting with others allow you then to get your searchlights and spotlights working in your favour by allowing you to easily notice the joy and positives that are around you. In the digital and "always on" culure that we live in our searchlights are working over time. You could say we're in a searchlight rich environment I guess. So we need to ensure that we handover to our friendly spotlight more often to ensure we clearly "see" the joy and positive aspects that we all have in our lives and to give our searchlights a rest. Sun 5th Apr F.O.B.O - Fear of Better Options. We live in a consumerist World where access to more and more goods/services/activities increases by the day. Online access to a variety of shopping platforms allows us to easily purchase whatever we need and want and sometimes things we don't want..... So choice and ease of purchase is the environment we find ourselves in. Whilst this "ease" seems to be a consumer's panacea with next day delivery, searching for products from the comfort of your own armchair and the ability to shop conveniently on your phone, it is the source of anxiety. There is now so much choice that it affects our decision making. The "paradox of choice" that we all face daily causes us angst because we believe that there maybe a better option that we're unaware of but might be just a click away....F.O.B.O. With ever more choice from more and more retailers it's very difficult to settle on an objective choice (as the objectives are made common across a number of products) which means we need to make a subjective choice. Faced with a number of similar products it's difficult to be subjective easily and so this causes us anxiety as we spend a lot of time trying to decide which product to buy. Let's buy some shoelaces. So we filter our choice objectively to begin with. White, for sports shoes. Length? Not sure but let's say for running shoes. Easy, isn't it? Until you enter that into an online store and you're faced with 50 possible purchases. Ok, so perhaps you'll narrow it down by cost. You don't need a pair for £50 made from carbon fibre. Hmmm but then you notice "reviews" that other purchasers have left. (You don't know that these are real people, or even if they are if they work for the company, but you might decide to read them nonetheless). Time goes by and indecision engulfs us. So more choice is not necessarily a good thing. The F.O.B.O. is driven by the huge choice we have. It also has an interesting effect on dating sites (apparently) where people search for their perfect partner but get caught in a mind trap of believing someone "even better" is just a click away....I guess it trains the mind to be impatient and to get lost in the paradox of choice. Like a game of "Top Trumps" (I'm going back to my childhood now so I hope they still exist) but with an infinite pack of cards. How do you counter F.O.B.O.?. Tues 31st Mar F.O.M.O - Fear of Missing Out . The herd instinct and social norms are deep seated biases to keep us safe and to help us spot danger. Hopefully it'll also mean that my flared jeans and velvet jacket will eventually come back into fashion, my fingers are crossed.... It also provides a barometer though that allows us to compare ourselves to others. After all, we don't have to be the fastest runner in the tribe but we don't want to be the slowest and become lunch for a sabre tooth tiger do we? Despite you shaking your head, unconsciously you'll be "keeping up with the Joneses" on one level or another. It is of course another way in which advertisers (and other) nudge us to buy their products or act in certain ways. Self-worth (self esteem) is a powerful motivator either to gain it, maintain it and/or avoid losing it. We like to feel good about ourselves. Loss of self worth is well known in the Mental Health and wellbeing space as being one of the factors that contribute to a range of issues. We discussed yesterday that one of the drivers behind social norms (both positive but often negative) is the media that we consume seemingly relentlessly these days. It often reinforces negative behaviours by seemingly normalising the activity and we compare ourselve to this behaviour. We live in an "always on" culture which is encourged by the technology that we have at our fingertips. This is an ideal scenario for those companies that want to embrace consumer demand (more of this in a later blog). We also have Social Media which is a perfect window for us to watch other people. We watch what other members of the herd are doing/saying/eating/reading etc. We then compare ourselves to them.... Take FaceBook for example (or "boastbook"). We watch as other people put their "best life" out there for us to see. And we compare and try and compete, without realising (often) that this is just a snapshot of someone else's life. A virtual life actually. Not real. Trying to keep up or recognise that your life isn't the same causes anxiety because your comparison isn't balanced. Can we bin our FaceBook/Instagram/TikTok etc accounts though? It's surprisingly difficult (as I discovered nearly a year ago) not just practically (I can only speak for FaceBook, but they really try and dissuade you from leaving but emotionally through F.O.M.O. Leaving the "herd" of Social Media raises fears that your missing out on something and for me it was quite a powerful feeling for about 2 weeks. I missed the "ding" of the FaceBook post on my phone. But then I realised how much time other people who were still on FB talked about it, and what crap they were discussing and the emotions it stirred in them...... Monday 30th Mar (Anti) Social Norms . We're social or herd animals which is our ancient survival technique. We also favour negativity as it gives us a better chance of avoiding danger often by considering "what might go wrong". We catastrophise because it's one of our unconscious biases. It helps to keep us safe, but in the modern World what are the actual dangers we face? In terms of physical threat (crime, terrorism, disease) statistically we've never been safer - despite what the media tells us. As we know news "worthy" items play to our fears so we're surrounded by unbalanced news reporting. In the world of Human Factors we talk about "destructive workplace norms" which is one of a number of factors that we're infuenced by and reduce our performance in terms of errors and mistakes. They are habits or learnt behaviours which often save time and effort. Shortcuts in fact. This is unsurprising because that's how we learn things generally! Habit, rote learn by doing, remember the actions and outcome, neural pathway constucted, and Bob's your uncle. Think riding a bike or driving a car etc. But these habits or "norms" can be negative - using incorrect tools, not using checklists, not following procedures and so on. Once these deviations are used a few times with no negative outcomes then they become a habit or norm. Our thoughts become norms too, a learnt pattern that we select as it's easier to. We get into the habit of thinking in certain ways too and forget or exclude other perspectives or ways to look at something. These are often called "thinking traps" in the Mental Health and wellbeing community when we consider the negative patterns we adopt. We like to mimic the crowd then, fit in, and in our everyday lives we like these social norms and often adopt them. But how do we know what is a norm? We watch and listen. We observe other people and what they do. Unfortunately what we mainly see/hear reported in the media (I include social media in this too) is destructive or negative and we can believe these are established norms. Especially if what we read/watch/hear is repeated on occasion, which with 24 hour news reporting/loops is highly likely..... It influences us to behave and think in similar ways because the media suggests that destructive behaviour and negativity (bad news) is the norm. We're drawn in to a very narrow and focused view a "snapshot" of negativity which urges us to act emotionally and not rationally. If we think this way for long enough it becomes our learnt behaviour or thinking pattern..... Again, balance is required to see the bigger picture and reduce our anxiety. Limiting our exposure to the news or social media mean that we aren't having these snapshots or soundbites of (anti) social norms being reinforced in our minds. Broadening our thoughts to see the positives (yes there are always positives!) acts to balance our thinking, but also trains us to watch out for those mind traps and normalises a more positive thinking habit. Friday 27th Mar The importance of words 3 - beware of the "blur". Ambiguity is a double edged sword, it is used to allow people to explore their thoughts and their feelings and come to their own conclusions. Vague statements and generalisation backed up by emotive words can lead us though to use our "system 1" brain-part otherwise known as our dog brain or limbic system. It's the fast, emotional part of our brain and doesn't rely on our cognition or rational thought. It's fast and quite often flawed. Language is used to engage our feelings by politicians and mainstream media (MSM) because it evokes powerful feelings in people which is ideal to stir up a passion to follow, a strong agreement or a fear. We may well recognise a politician using rhetoric but there's the effect that it has on our subconscious that we may not sense. I'm sure you can think of a particularly impressive speech by someone which "chimed" with you and made you think what a great speech (and speaker) you'd heard. Probably little sustance, but you didn't notice that..... I'm always intrigued by "blur" words. These are additional (and common) words that people use to add feeling (and in their mind clarity or emphasis) without actually doing so. Smoke and mirrors if you like. They tend to be adjectives or adverbs and once you start to notice them you'll see they're everywhere. Everywhere . That's a blur word. Why? Because clearly they aren't everywhere. But it adds weight to my statement seems to add emphasis and steers you towards thinking that... Significant. Substantial. Shocking . What does significant mean? I've taught Human Factors for 10 years to a variety of people and it's one of the classic words I like to ask people about. What does it mean? What does it imply? The same goes for substantial. What does that word actually mean, and how is it making you feel? I just listened to the news here in the UK and Boris Johnson just stated that he has the Covid-19 virus. He said it was a mild illness for him and he will continue to work (in isolation). The news reporter then told us about the "shocking" news. Why was it shocking? What was the reporter trying to make you feel? And why? In terms of our Mental Health and Wellbeing we need to look out for these mischievous words and how they are used to steer our feelings. Both when we use them internally and when we talk to people but also when we listen to people and read articles and watch media. Being aware of blur words (and there are many) might help us to keep track of our feelings and by questioning them help us to maintain a balance and help promote positive wellbeing. Thurs 26th Mar The Importance of Words 2. We limit and constrain ourselves by the words we use too. Whilst we can be unbalanced by words and phrases that we read in MSM (see blog below) we can also unbalance ourselves by running a negative and restictive internal dialogue which then becomes reality to us. Just because we think "it" doesn't make "it" real or true or even likely to occur. THOUGHTS = FEELINGS = ACTIONS = LIFE → In the absence of facts, backed up by a lived experience and support networks, we'll search for a meaning. We'll also search for a way to influence an outcome if we can ideally to our benefit. One of our unconscious biases is "favouring the negative" or "catastophising" which is a natural survival tool as it makes us look for hazards or dangers and how to protect ourselves. So our thoughts will dwell on the negatives naturally. The words we use externally or internally will reflect and reinforce our thoughts and feelings and given that we tend to favour the negative this can have a long term effect on our actions which will become a "habit" and a learned behaviour. Our thoughts and actions then become a default behaviour because that's what we've become accustomed to. This has a direct effect on our positive mental health and wellbeing. There are many methods out there to help us with wellbeing but a good place to start is to notice the words we use internally and externally. Which words set your thoughts on a negative path unnecessarily and close off any positive perspective? We're looking (listening?) for words that fix your mindset and replace them with open words that allow you to have a growth mindset. Never. Always. Can't. Everytime. Must. Everybody (insert statement). These types of words limit your thinking and can fix a negative mindset. They can become our "go to" words of choice if we aren't careful. Notice when you use them and query them. Find examples when this wasn't the case. "This always happens" really? Bet it doesn't. Whenever you hear yourself using fixed words (or think them) recognise that there is another way to represent your thoughts by using different words. Also recognise when other people (or MSM) use these limiting words (or generalisations such as "everybody") because it will almost certainly consciously or sub-consciously effect how you think about something. Changing the way we think about something takes effort and time too.....but you can learn this new habit quite easily and it will become second nature to you. Choosing what we think about and HOW we think about it is our "superpower". This will help you to add a more balanced view to your life and to others around you. Weds 25th Mar The Importance of Words. We live in "interesting" times don't we? The spread of coronavirus (CV) across the globe is alarming don't you think? We now have "social distancing" here in the UK and I know other countries have similar arrangements. Some even have curfews in place to counter the threat that CV poses with strict rules and some people are of course isolating. Isolating . Social distancing . Pandemic . Lockdown . These words are used regularly on news channels, social media and in newspapers. In fact you'll find Mainstream Media (MSM) peppered with these words and phrases. Given that's how most of society consumes information it seems fair to say that we're up to our knees in evocative language. Which sells. It captures people's imagination largely through fear and concern. Most of us live relatively structured lives with (often) hectic timetables that we plan (mostly!) so they become habitual. We are creatures of habit because it's a comfortable place and means we don't have to think too much about what we're doing...... Recognition, repetition and understanding patterns is how we do a lot of our learning too. I use the anology of learning to drive a car regularly and I see it first hand at the moment as I'm helping (I think) my daughter to learn how to drive. We start from "unconsciously imcompetent" and we eventually arrive at "unconsciously competent" where muscle memory and experience makes driving second nature. In fact once you've been driving a while you don't even think about how to do it. Unless you travel to a different country where driving rules are different or in my case (I live in the UK) on a different side of the road, then you generally drive on "autopilot". You always drive with due care and attention but if I travel to the US for example I have to think about how to drive the car for a few days before I've adjusted to the new situation. You can always tell a Brit who has just arrived in the US through their use of windscreen wipers to indicate turning for a day or two..... When we're faced with novel situations, change, uncertainty then the words we use should be thought about carefully and their potential effects considered. Whether CV is a "Black Swan" event is open to debate but however you describe it, the nature of that description through the use of words can have a huge effect on people. MSM will sensationalise and catastrophise as bad news "sells". The language they tend to use will support that, but they'll often use "Miltonesque" language and phrases to allow you to fill in the blanks with your own thoughts. Humans don't like uncertainty or an abscence of information so invariably you'll insert your own narrative accordingly. So how can you counter the worry and concern that you feel after watching MSM particularly at this moment in time? Take the four words in italics "Isolating. Social distancing. Pandemic. Lockdown." As soon as you read or hear this word an image or emotion will be triggered. But think about it slowly (at least 10 seconds) and try and find another emotion or feeling that each word is creating in your mind. Then think of what you can do to minmise it's effect on you... Isolating doesn't mean isolated but I suspect that's what you thought about? But there will be people out there that are already isolated and lonely and more so now because of CV. So seek them our. Support them. Help them if you can. It'll do everyones wellbeing the power of good. Social distancing really means physical distancing but it evokes a different thought (in me anyway). It doesn't mean you can't be sociable - technology is a wonderful thing after all.... Pandemic . I'm not here to suggest that CV isn't serious and is killing people, but there needs to be some context to the figures that the MSM quote. Statistics are notorious and there will be geographical and cultural differences so be careful when figures are "interpreted". I'm NOT saying ignore them, but I'm suggesting think about what the MSM don't consider in their interpretations... Lockdown . Really? Think about the emotion it triggers and then add the facts and see if you see it in a different light. To many this is really about balancing what we here and see. For every news report there is often a lot that hasn't been said. Beware conjecture, "there be dragons" etc. because it scares people unnecessarily and for those that are already vulnerable it terrifies them. So, and as I'm attempting to do through my actions (this blog included) reach out to people and help to steady them. Help them balance. Tues 24th Mar Hello ! Hello and welcome to the blog of Whitecat Wellbeing. This is my first post ever! We live in peculiar and (seemingly) unprecendented times which leads to anxiety, worry and concern. However looking back through history it's important to consider context and take a wider view. The "bigger picture" is often overlooked by Main Stream Media (MSM) and Social Media (SM) platforms - after all, bad news sells and the more vivid or catastrophic a news story is then the more interest these platforms will receive.